What is slow sex and why you should be having it

Psychology Jul 5, 2021

You’ve probably heard of the slow movement: slow parenting, slow living, slow education… But did you know that it also has a niche in sex?

In these days where we’re all pushed for time, slow sex is what a lot of people lean towards to reconnect with themselves and their partner. Yes, sometimes a quickie is the quick fix we all need, especially in busy days. But if you can, why not take the time to have a longer session to change things up a bit and add some spice?

Plus, slowing down sex can enhance your pleasure big time. In a world where instant gratification is often prioritized, slow intercourse can provide a much-needed opportunity to connect deeply with yourself and your partner. By focusing on the sensations and emotions of the moment, you can experience heightened pleasure and intimacy.

What is slow sex and why does it feel better?

Sex is a multi-sensory experience, but we don’t always appreciate every aspect of it when we’re physically in the moment with someone. What slowing sex does, is giving your brain more time to process the experience of each sensation; you can savor more every smell, taste, touch, sound and sight. I

n a nutshell, with sexually gentle intercourse you mainly focus on sensations rather than performance. Thus, it takes the pressure off of orgasming, as there is no race to any finish line. It’s all about living the moment with no end goal in mind, and soaking it all in.

It also creates a deeper connection with your partner. When you're not focused solely on performance, you can relax and truly be present with your partner. This can lead to more intimacy and a stronger bond between the two of you.

If you’re already sold on trying this approach, here are 8 ways to slow sex and bring your intimacy to new heights.

How to have slow sex

1. Connect with the eyes

We can’t learn how to slow down during sex without understanding the power of an intense gaze first. They say that eyes are the window of the soul, so as you may imagine, the most intimate connection occurs through them. With your partner, practice gazing deeply into each other’s eyes as part of your foreplay. You will feel how arousal builds up in your body. To make it even sexier, you can picture everything that you want to do to your partner and voice it, all while looking into each other’s eyes and without touching.

But this doesn’t have to stop here; you can also take it to the intercourse. Make eye contact during the hot action to keep the connection with your lover there and notice everything happening.

2. Explore erogenous zones

One of the best slow sex tips is to explore the not so common erogenous zones. We all know the main erogenous zones of the body, but how much attention do you pay to the secondary ones? They are usually disregarded, but stimulating them can lead to great arousal.

Secondary erogenous zones are often overlooked, but they can provide a wealth of new sensations and pleasure when explored. These areas include the neck, ears, inner thighs, stomach, and even the feet. The key to exploring these areas is to use the power of light touch and gentle exploration.

Try running your fingers lightly over your partner's stomach or inner thighs, or tracing circles around their nipples or ears. You can also experiment with kissing or licking these areas, or using a feather or other light object to stimulate the skin. Pay attention to your partner's reactions and adjust your touch accordingly to maximize their pleasure.

Use the power of light touch to discover all those corners that tend to be forgotten during faster sex.

3. Tease and edge

Teasing is a whole art of its one, and edging is the practice of stopping yourself and your partner from reaching orgasm right before you fall off the cliff into climax. This can be done through a variety of techniques, such as slowing down or changing the rhythm of your movements, or even pausing completely. The goal is to build up sexual tension and prolong the experience, leading to a more intense and satisfying orgasm when it finally does occur.

Edging makes you more aware of your and your partner’s sexual responses, bringing mindfulness into the sexual act. Not to mention the waves of pleasure that it sends throughout the body, so it’s a great practice to include in your slow sex session.

4. Plug in and take a pause

Plugging in is basically sex with no movement. Yeah, it sounds odd, but you’d be surprised of the sensations it can cause. The way it works is that when your partner is inside of you or the other way around, stay still and don’t move. By doing this your senses will be heightened and you will feel the slightest of the movements. It’s about feeling the desire building up, step by step.

Plugging in also offers a unique opportunity to explore different types of touch and stimulation. You can experiment with using your breath, making eye contact, or even incorporating gentle movements of the hips or pelvis to enhance the sensation without breaking the stillness.

Also, it allows you to reach a deeper state of connection with your lover.

5. Get more creative

Long slow sex creates a space for creativity and thinking outside the box. You can introduce different elements. The road is all yours to design!

One way to get more creative with slow sex is to experiment with different types of stimulation. This could mean using your hands or mouth to explore your partner's body, or incorporating toys like vibrators or dildos to enhance the experience. You can also try using different types of lubricant or massage oils to add a new level of sensory stimulation.

Another option would be to incorporate role-play or BDSM elements into your play. This could mean trying out some light bondage with handcuffs or a blindfold, or exploring power dynamics through dominant and submissive roles. Just remember to always communicate with your partner and establish clear boundaries beforehand.

And of course, there's always the option of introducing food into the mix. Whether it's using whip cream or chocolate syrup to add a sweet twist, or feeding each other fruit or cheese to slow things down even further, the possibilities are endless.

Ultimately, the key to getting more creative while taking sex slow is to let go of any expectations and explore the possibilities together with your partner. By being open to new experiences and experimenting with different sensations, you can take your intimacy to new heights and create a more fulfilling sexual experience.

In conclusion, slow sex may not be for everyone, but it’s certainly worth considering. Now that you know all the nitty gritty on how to have slow passionate sex, it’s time for you to jump into action if you feel like spicing things up and taking a twist. By taking your time and being fully present during intimate moments, you can experience a level of pleasure and intimacy that simply can’t be rushed. So, the next time you’re in the mood for some spice, you will know how to slow things down to see where the moment takes you.